How crazy have the last couple of months been?!
I have a new blog up and another in the making -a little silly considering how slack I am already with this one....
Anyway, most of you will be recovering from the holiday period (some of you may still be recovering from new years eve festivities), I don't know about anyone else but it's been a bit hectic for me -and I still wasn't spared from the flu! In summer! What?!
I'll start with the slushy maker I guess..
SO. I like slushies. I couldn't tell you why, I just do. I've never really liked hot drinks much. I like coffee -but I prefer it iced. I like tea, but again, iced is better.
I also don't really like "flat" drinks, things like juice on it's own or whatever. I like texture in my drinks and I get it from bubbles or ice or pulp.
I got given a chill factor slushy maker for christmas, and reading the instructions, it seemed like a pretty simple thing to use.
Seemed lol
The basic concept is pretty simple really, you freeze the cup then add your drink then squeeze the cup until your drink is all slushified.
You can only put a small amount of liquid in at a time though, and while it did freeze it reasonably quickly, I found that it wasn't fluid like storebought slushies and there was no way I was going to get that up the straw provided.
I used kool aid (water, soda water, kool aid, artificial sweetener) so I dunno maybe it would work better with other drink? I'm on the sugarfree drink train though (and not complaining either because kool aid is amazing, why don't we have this in the supermarkets?!)
Once I got some into my mouth with the provided scoop it was more like I'd bitten off a chunk of ice block than scooped out some slushy.
At the end of the day while this doesn't give the slushy it claims to, it's still a pretty good product for summer I think -and definitely easier than sticking some ice in the blender!
Now let's talk about holiday baking or christmas baking if you want.
I wouldn't say I "celebrate" christmas because christmas doesn't mean anything to me and I find it an incredibly awkward time at the family (not mine) gathering I go to each year, but I do give gifts where I can.
I guess it's partly out of obligation (I'm being given things so I feel rude not to give something also) but also because it's convenient -things are often more on special at that time of year.
Last year money was a bit tight all round, I was caring for my flatmate who had had a pretty significant surgery only a few weeks before and he wasn't exactly able to go out to buy gifts for his family either so I ended up making... well basically cake pops without the sticks.
I decided I wanted to make something again this year to save money, and because I don't know what the cupcakes to buy for these people haha!
I eventually decided on shortbread. I asked my mum about it she said just find something with lots of sugar and butter. Easy, right? Flour sugar butter.
Turns out that shortbread is my eggs of the baking realm.
(Eggs never turn out right for me. Ever. They just don't go how they're supposed to)
I did a couple of trial batches of shortbread before I found an ok place but despite having a recipe given to me by a CHEF ..a few things weren't going my way!
I also hate my oven. It didn't help.
I also made candy cane bark. That was easier than the shortbread!
Candy cane bark is basically chocolate and candy canes. Crush candy canes, melt white chocolate, mix em together, pour onto a tray.
SO. A couple of tips for festive baking.
I wanted to put some mini m&ms or something in the shortbread to liven it up a bit -but those are expensive!
I had some coloured sugar crystals from something I'd made some other time so I poured in green sugar and pink sugar (didn't have red) to each batch.
You can make coloured sugar yourself too!
Recently I got some candy cane hershey's kisses and I liked how it had little things sorta like hundreds and thousands in them -I wanted to recreate that texture with the candy cane bark so I..
I uh.. well I put hundreds and thousands in them...
It's good! I promise!
Next time I will post about home made tomato sauce! (The joys of having so many allergies)
~^_^~
Thursday, 2 January 2014
Sunday, 10 November 2013
Product Review: Dove Nourishing Oil Serum & Elvive Arginine Resist
So many things I want to put up, so little energy! Course has me wiped out buuuutttt here's some stuffs anyways.
Two of my favourite products!
I picked these both up on sale for around $3-$4 each, I'm not sure what I'm going to do once I run out because they seem to normally cost about twice that o_o
SO
Dove Nourishing Oil Serum
This stuff is aaaamaaaazing. I bleach the underside of my hair to colour it with "crazy colours", and due to my many allergies blah blah blah even my older natural hair is having a little bit of a hard time staying awesome.
The bottle is a little weird for me. If you have slippery hands and you pick it up, it can be a bit difficult to stop it going off on adventures.
The back says something like three full pumps (I think, it's been a while since I looked).. I prefer to use what I think are probably half pumps, that way you don't overdo it.
When I first started using it I needed quite a bit. I figured that I didn't exactly treat my hair like a princess so it probably needed the love.
It made my hair silky and shiny and wasn't greasy, oily, or sticky -which is a problem a lot of hair treatments at the moment have, especially if they have oils in them.
Over time my hair has become better -I can't say if it's the 2L water a day I drink now, or the serum, but I do think that the serum does have something to do with it.
I only need about half the amount I used to use now, and it does help keep my frizz under control.
The first couple of weeks I used it, the smell was a little bit strong, but now I barely even notice it!
I put it through my hair straight after I get out of the shower, and a bonus is it doesn't make the pillow all gross. It goes on your hair and stays there.
Elvive Arginine Resist Conditioner
I try to keep as sulfate free as possible to be kind to my hair and scalp, so I have not tried the shampoo of this range (it would be great if Loreal went sulfate free in all of their products!)
I picked out this product for the same reason as I picked the Dove serum, I needed some hair care blah blah.
I did have a bit of hair breakage (and before you roll your eyes and go "well DUH you bleach your hair!" I actually have had more of a problem with natural breakage than bleached breakage!), I am a bit harsh to my hair, I have it tied up most of the time and I don't take the time to do proper deep conditioning or anything.
The ad claimed a lot so I thought I'd give it a go.
I was pretty impressed -though I wasn't expecting much.
I can't say it lived up to the advertisement's claims, but it has reduced my breakage and fall by a fair bit and it does seem to be a bit tougher and able to handle more.
I use it in conjunction with my sukin moisture restore and schwarzkopf colour protect (and occasionally a couple of other things).
Sooo there you go! Two pretty good products I think!
Keep in mind that what works for me won't work for everyone, but hopefully these two products will help some people have nicer hair
~^_^~
Two of my favourite products!
I picked these both up on sale for around $3-$4 each, I'm not sure what I'm going to do once I run out because they seem to normally cost about twice that o_o
SO
Dove Nourishing Oil Serum
This stuff is aaaamaaaazing. I bleach the underside of my hair to colour it with "crazy colours", and due to my many allergies blah blah blah even my older natural hair is having a little bit of a hard time staying awesome.
The bottle is a little weird for me. If you have slippery hands and you pick it up, it can be a bit difficult to stop it going off on adventures.
The back says something like three full pumps (I think, it's been a while since I looked).. I prefer to use what I think are probably half pumps, that way you don't overdo it.
When I first started using it I needed quite a bit. I figured that I didn't exactly treat my hair like a princess so it probably needed the love.
It made my hair silky and shiny and wasn't greasy, oily, or sticky -which is a problem a lot of hair treatments at the moment have, especially if they have oils in them.
Over time my hair has become better -I can't say if it's the 2L water a day I drink now, or the serum, but I do think that the serum does have something to do with it.
I only need about half the amount I used to use now, and it does help keep my frizz under control.
The first couple of weeks I used it, the smell was a little bit strong, but now I barely even notice it!
I put it through my hair straight after I get out of the shower, and a bonus is it doesn't make the pillow all gross. It goes on your hair and stays there.
Elvive Arginine Resist Conditioner
I try to keep as sulfate free as possible to be kind to my hair and scalp, so I have not tried the shampoo of this range (it would be great if Loreal went sulfate free in all of their products!)
I picked out this product for the same reason as I picked the Dove serum, I needed some hair care blah blah.
I did have a bit of hair breakage (and before you roll your eyes and go "well DUH you bleach your hair!" I actually have had more of a problem with natural breakage than bleached breakage!), I am a bit harsh to my hair, I have it tied up most of the time and I don't take the time to do proper deep conditioning or anything.
The ad claimed a lot so I thought I'd give it a go.
I was pretty impressed -though I wasn't expecting much.
I can't say it lived up to the advertisement's claims, but it has reduced my breakage and fall by a fair bit and it does seem to be a bit tougher and able to handle more.
I use it in conjunction with my sukin moisture restore and schwarzkopf colour protect (and occasionally a couple of other things).
Sooo there you go! Two pretty good products I think!
Keep in mind that what works for me won't work for everyone, but hopefully these two products will help some people have nicer hair
~^_^~
Wednesday, 16 October 2013
Welcome to Daffodil Blue!
So I decided to recycle my blog.
The Road to Ranting served me well, but it's time to move on!
I needed a specific outlet for the things going on in my life, but I am mentally in a better place now, so I thought it was time to revamp!
I have kept some of the previous posts because they are either reviews or posts I think it's important to keep here.
From now on this blog will host product reviews and craft endeavours =)
I hope you guys look forward to some great (and not so great) product reviews, and the goodies I have made, and will be making in the future.
Don't be too shy to ask questions!
Also yay for warmer weather!
~^_^~
The Road to Ranting served me well, but it's time to move on!
I needed a specific outlet for the things going on in my life, but I am mentally in a better place now, so I thought it was time to revamp!
I have kept some of the previous posts because they are either reviews or posts I think it's important to keep here.
From now on this blog will host product reviews and craft endeavours =)
I hope you guys look forward to some great (and not so great) product reviews, and the goodies I have made, and will be making in the future.
Don't be too shy to ask questions!
Also yay for warmer weather!
~^_^~
Saturday, 8 June 2013
Sulfate Free Product Reviews: Eco Store, Yes To, Primal Earth, + Make Your Own Sulfate Free Body Wash!
Sulfate free products are slightly more available now than they were a couple of months ago -I'd like to think we're finally getting through to companies!
I am very picky, and my skin is too, so I can't and won't just settle for any old sulfate free product.
We all have our preferences for what we want our hair and skin to be like, and what we want our products to smell like.
I've bought a few things recently so I thought I'd share my thoughts on them with you all =)
Eco Store Anti Dandruff Shampoo
I've had problems with my scalp for as long as I can remember, I was pretty ok for a few years and then after the water supply was changed it had a big tantrum and I've been struggling to get it under control ever since.
The prescription stuff (ketaconizole?) stopped working, and there was no way I was going to put that coco tar stuff in my hair. No way.
Eco Store finally had a semi decent selection in the supermarket, so I got their anti dandruff shampoo.
Please note, this product has Sodium Coco Sulphate. If you have severe issues with sulphates, I would probably give this one a miss. I did some research and the general consensus seems to be that it is basically the same as SLS -however, saying it's the same thing is massively over-simplifying it.
SCS is, simply put, a very very diluted version of SLS. It has far more of the coconut's fatty acids still, and while some people still call it a "harsh" chemical, I would disagree. That's like having a glass of pure lemon juice, and a glass of lemon juice mixed in with a couple of litres of water and saying they have the same degree of sourness. It's not rocket science that something diluted will be less "harsh". But anyway.
I love this product. First of all, it smells like cola lollies. So yum!
Even though it does have SCS in it, I do not experience a reaction like I did with SLS products. This product does not strip the semi permanent colour from my hair like SLS products and normal anti dandruff products!
It left my hair feeling awesome and my scalp feeling great. And it did it's job well. I am very happy to have found something that works so well for my scalp!
Yes To Carrots Scalp Relief Conditioner
Unfortunately Yes To don't have sulphate free shampoos (as far as I'm aware). I thought I would try this conditioner in conjunction with the Eco Store shampoo (which I had already been using beforehand).
I am left hoping that their other conditioners I want to try won't leave me as disappointed as I was with this one.
It's ok. It's nothing special. I definitely don't think that the carrots one, at least, is worth the rather high price.
It's a bit of a mixed bag I guess.
The only good thing about it seems to be that it helps keep my hair soft for longer.
The bad things are numerous though. One of which is at the time, and for about a day after, it makes my hair feel a bit.. dry and "ratty". It would be nice if it was soft from day one. From when I washed it out. But nope.
It's a bit of a pain to get the product out of the bottle. It comes out in a rather annoying tiny stream.
The smell is not great. It has a really strong tea tree smell. It just reminds me of when I was a kid and had nits. I don't really like the smell in the first place anyways.
It irritates my scalp -I get the same irritation with it as I do when I use an anti dandruff SLS/ALS shampoo.
Lastly it is REALLY hard to wash out. Definitely not something to go with if you're trying to save water.
Primal Earth Calming Face Wash
Now, I noticed earlier while I was in the shower that the tube says "his" on it, and I did find it under the men's razors area in the supermarket with the face balms and shaving creams and whathaveyou, but I don't recall seeing a women's one (also why can't I find Primal Earth Renew anymore?!). It doesn't really make a difference to me anyway!
It says it has aloe vera, green tea, and plant glucosides. It also states it contains coenzyme Q10 and harakeke flax.
I liked the speel on the back, I can't be bothered going to get it, but it says something like basically this product is awesome now hurry up and get it. I like my product speel with a bit of humorous attitude ^_-
I really really really love this product!
It smells sort of like a clearasil? product I used back in highschool, so pretty generic, nothing good or bad about it really.
You only need a little bit to cover your whole face, and I honestly didn't expect it to do much since it isn't exfoliating.. I was pleasantly suprised!
I get NO negative reactions with this wash at all! Which is amazing on it's own.. I had a really bad breakout just before I bought this product, and with two washes it is SO much better! Not completely gone but I'd say about three times better than it was! One particular problem area was dried up completely and flaked off the next day -completely fine!
The areas I usually worry about blackheads are looking a LOT better now, and this product leaves my skin amazingly soft. There is absolutely no need for me to apply a moisturiser afterwards.
It's about the same size and price as anything else, and I would highly recommend this product to anyone!
Now... How to make your own sulphate free body wash!
Supposedly you can use any bar soap to do this, but you may need to add more water than you use in this recipe.
This is using Dove bar soap.
I made one batch with the exfoliating bar, and one batch with the shea butter bar.
I used one and a half bars of each, you can adjust the recipe to suit you.
For every one and a half bars used, add 3 cups of water (or 2 cups of water per bar).
You will need to grate the soap into a pot, add in one cup of water and heat on medium.
Stir every now and then until as much soap as possible is melted, and mixed in, and add the rest of the water.
(If you are using more soap, add more water in the first lot, so if you are using three bars of soap, add two cups of water, then the rest etc etc)
Once you have as much soap as possible melted and mixed with the water, pour the mixture into a glass container or bottle to cool.
Once it is cooled enough, transfer it to a container of your choice. I have also heard that at this stage you can mix in your own skin safe fragrance if you wish.
I do not recommend leaving it in bottles as shown in the picture, you will be better off putting it in something like tupperware, or a bottle that you can squeeze the product out of -for example, a shampoo bottle, or other body wash bottle.
The end product is a really nice and luxurious body wash! It is awesome! Don't expect it to be like normal body wash, what I ended up with was a fantastic mousse like product -very nice!
If you want something a bit more exfoliating I would suggest purchasing some small exfoliating beads or using something like crushed apricot seeds, or maybe even salt, and mixing it in after it has completely cooled.
So that's my review of my latest purchases, and home made Dove body wash! The body wash could even make a nice present for someone! If you make it I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
~^_^~
I am very picky, and my skin is too, so I can't and won't just settle for any old sulfate free product.
We all have our preferences for what we want our hair and skin to be like, and what we want our products to smell like.
I've bought a few things recently so I thought I'd share my thoughts on them with you all =)
Eco Store Anti Dandruff Shampoo
I've had problems with my scalp for as long as I can remember, I was pretty ok for a few years and then after the water supply was changed it had a big tantrum and I've been struggling to get it under control ever since.
The prescription stuff (ketaconizole?) stopped working, and there was no way I was going to put that coco tar stuff in my hair. No way.
Eco Store finally had a semi decent selection in the supermarket, so I got their anti dandruff shampoo.
Please note, this product has Sodium Coco Sulphate. If you have severe issues with sulphates, I would probably give this one a miss. I did some research and the general consensus seems to be that it is basically the same as SLS -however, saying it's the same thing is massively over-simplifying it.
SCS is, simply put, a very very diluted version of SLS. It has far more of the coconut's fatty acids still, and while some people still call it a "harsh" chemical, I would disagree. That's like having a glass of pure lemon juice, and a glass of lemon juice mixed in with a couple of litres of water and saying they have the same degree of sourness. It's not rocket science that something diluted will be less "harsh". But anyway.
I love this product. First of all, it smells like cola lollies. So yum!
Even though it does have SCS in it, I do not experience a reaction like I did with SLS products. This product does not strip the semi permanent colour from my hair like SLS products and normal anti dandruff products!
It left my hair feeling awesome and my scalp feeling great. And it did it's job well. I am very happy to have found something that works so well for my scalp!
Yes To Carrots Scalp Relief Conditioner
Unfortunately Yes To don't have sulphate free shampoos (as far as I'm aware). I thought I would try this conditioner in conjunction with the Eco Store shampoo (which I had already been using beforehand).
I am left hoping that their other conditioners I want to try won't leave me as disappointed as I was with this one.
It's ok. It's nothing special. I definitely don't think that the carrots one, at least, is worth the rather high price.
It's a bit of a mixed bag I guess.
The only good thing about it seems to be that it helps keep my hair soft for longer.
The bad things are numerous though. One of which is at the time, and for about a day after, it makes my hair feel a bit.. dry and "ratty". It would be nice if it was soft from day one. From when I washed it out. But nope.
It's a bit of a pain to get the product out of the bottle. It comes out in a rather annoying tiny stream.
The smell is not great. It has a really strong tea tree smell. It just reminds me of when I was a kid and had nits. I don't really like the smell in the first place anyways.
It irritates my scalp -I get the same irritation with it as I do when I use an anti dandruff SLS/ALS shampoo.
Lastly it is REALLY hard to wash out. Definitely not something to go with if you're trying to save water.
Primal Earth Calming Face Wash
Now, I noticed earlier while I was in the shower that the tube says "his" on it, and I did find it under the men's razors area in the supermarket with the face balms and shaving creams and whathaveyou, but I don't recall seeing a women's one (also why can't I find Primal Earth Renew anymore?!). It doesn't really make a difference to me anyway!
It says it has aloe vera, green tea, and plant glucosides. It also states it contains coenzyme Q10 and harakeke flax.
I liked the speel on the back, I can't be bothered going to get it, but it says something like basically this product is awesome now hurry up and get it. I like my product speel with a bit of humorous attitude ^_-
I really really really love this product!
It smells sort of like a clearasil? product I used back in highschool, so pretty generic, nothing good or bad about it really.
You only need a little bit to cover your whole face, and I honestly didn't expect it to do much since it isn't exfoliating.. I was pleasantly suprised!
I get NO negative reactions with this wash at all! Which is amazing on it's own.. I had a really bad breakout just before I bought this product, and with two washes it is SO much better! Not completely gone but I'd say about three times better than it was! One particular problem area was dried up completely and flaked off the next day -completely fine!
The areas I usually worry about blackheads are looking a LOT better now, and this product leaves my skin amazingly soft. There is absolutely no need for me to apply a moisturiser afterwards.
It's about the same size and price as anything else, and I would highly recommend this product to anyone!
Now... How to make your own sulphate free body wash!
Supposedly you can use any bar soap to do this, but you may need to add more water than you use in this recipe.
This is using Dove bar soap.
I made one batch with the exfoliating bar, and one batch with the shea butter bar.
I used one and a half bars of each, you can adjust the recipe to suit you.
For every one and a half bars used, add 3 cups of water (or 2 cups of water per bar).
You will need to grate the soap into a pot, add in one cup of water and heat on medium.
Stir every now and then until as much soap as possible is melted, and mixed in, and add the rest of the water.
(If you are using more soap, add more water in the first lot, so if you are using three bars of soap, add two cups of water, then the rest etc etc)
Once you have as much soap as possible melted and mixed with the water, pour the mixture into a glass container or bottle to cool.
Once it is cooled enough, transfer it to a container of your choice. I have also heard that at this stage you can mix in your own skin safe fragrance if you wish.
I do not recommend leaving it in bottles as shown in the picture, you will be better off putting it in something like tupperware, or a bottle that you can squeeze the product out of -for example, a shampoo bottle, or other body wash bottle.
The end product is a really nice and luxurious body wash! It is awesome! Don't expect it to be like normal body wash, what I ended up with was a fantastic mousse like product -very nice!
If you want something a bit more exfoliating I would suggest purchasing some small exfoliating beads or using something like crushed apricot seeds, or maybe even salt, and mixing it in after it has completely cooled.
So that's my review of my latest purchases, and home made Dove body wash! The body wash could even make a nice present for someone! If you make it I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
~^_^~
Wednesday, 8 May 2013
Product Review: Airborne Health Active Honey Lozenges
Down here on the islands we're on the doorstep of winter.. or something like that.
Coughs and colds and our mate the flu have started making the rounds and damn is it expensive to be sick!
I just about always have colds/cold symptoms and so I'm often trying to find something to make everything better.
So far the best thing I have found is dimetapp night and day capsules -but they're not cheap and you're only supposed to take them for three days.
Whenever I try to find something that I can stand that will work I always get told to use cough syrup.
I have a strong aversion to this. Due to having liquid medicine forced down my throat on a constant basis throughout the day as a child, I now retch at even the smell of cough syrup. Years ago I tried to consume some but just ended throwing it back up haha.
After having the flu for three weeks, and now partway through another cold (come on immune system!) I am getting pretty desperate to find something that'll get rid of the headaches, the coughing and sneezing and soothe my throat!
I have resorted to Codral day caps (left over from a particularly bad bout some time ago) and maxigesic (not at the same time of course) and a little red bull in my berry juice to perk me up a little.
I went into the pharmacy and looked for what I thought would be the least likely to smell and taste like regular cough syrup.
And then after listing my symptoms upon request I get told no I shouldn't get that one because I'm coughing up mucus and that one will suppress the cough, so then I won't get that gunk out of my lungs.
They recommended mucinex -but at something like $25 for twelve tablets I had to leave it. I can't afford that business lol!
Instead I picked up some lemon, honey, and ginger syrup from the supermarket and I am going to add some cinnamon to it (personal preference), and in the flu part of the medicine aisle I had a look to see if there was anything new I could try.
That's where I saw Airborne Health Active Honey Lozenges.
They have two flavours, one was Manuka and Lemon I think? And the one I got was Manuka and Honeydew.
They do taste nice though a little odd, so I think next time I would buy the lemon ones.
They have 16 lozenges and I paid around $7.50 for them. Not exactly cheap, but better than spending $4 on vicks vapour drops and not wanting to go near them after two or three!
They say they relieve and sooth dry, tickly throats actively supporting throat health.
They boast being 90% honey (the lemon version is 80% honey) with honeydew and vitamin C.
It has an icon saying 12+ active which I assume is to do with the quality of the honey used (I rarely retain information like that) and says on the back "Each lozenge contains selected Manuka honeys high in ACTIVE AAH and powerfully supports immune defences in fighting ills and chills."
Each lozenge is 2.8g and contains Airborne Health Active AAH Manuka Honey and Beech Forest Honeydew Honey, maltodextrin, tableting aids E551 and E570 and added vitamin C.
These are Gluten Free.
Within a couple of minutes I could feel a drastic change in the dryness and pain in my throat.
An hour later I feel a little bit of a scratch again, but it's nowhere near as bad as it was.
Another thing I like about these is the shape and size. I have another brand of manuka honey lozenges that I like, but they're in the shape of small cushions if you like, and are often awkward in my mouth (probably partly because of my piercing...) and I find a lot of things like strepsils or soothers too wide or too bulky to fit on top of my tongue so they often get banished to the side of my cheek! These comfortably sit on the top of my tongue with no problems.
So far I am really impressed with these!
If you are looking for something that works and that isn't yucky menthol or fuzzy numbing or gross antiseptic, I'd say give these a go, you might be pleasantly suprised.
~^_^~
Coughs and colds and our mate the flu have started making the rounds and damn is it expensive to be sick!
I just about always have colds/cold symptoms and so I'm often trying to find something to make everything better.
So far the best thing I have found is dimetapp night and day capsules -but they're not cheap and you're only supposed to take them for three days.
Whenever I try to find something that I can stand that will work I always get told to use cough syrup.
I have a strong aversion to this. Due to having liquid medicine forced down my throat on a constant basis throughout the day as a child, I now retch at even the smell of cough syrup. Years ago I tried to consume some but just ended throwing it back up haha.
After having the flu for three weeks, and now partway through another cold (come on immune system!) I am getting pretty desperate to find something that'll get rid of the headaches, the coughing and sneezing and soothe my throat!
I have resorted to Codral day caps (left over from a particularly bad bout some time ago) and maxigesic (not at the same time of course) and a little red bull in my berry juice to perk me up a little.
I went into the pharmacy and looked for what I thought would be the least likely to smell and taste like regular cough syrup.
And then after listing my symptoms upon request I get told no I shouldn't get that one because I'm coughing up mucus and that one will suppress the cough, so then I won't get that gunk out of my lungs.
They recommended mucinex -but at something like $25 for twelve tablets I had to leave it. I can't afford that business lol!
Instead I picked up some lemon, honey, and ginger syrup from the supermarket and I am going to add some cinnamon to it (personal preference), and in the flu part of the medicine aisle I had a look to see if there was anything new I could try.
That's where I saw Airborne Health Active Honey Lozenges.
They have two flavours, one was Manuka and Lemon I think? And the one I got was Manuka and Honeydew.
They do taste nice though a little odd, so I think next time I would buy the lemon ones.
They have 16 lozenges and I paid around $7.50 for them. Not exactly cheap, but better than spending $4 on vicks vapour drops and not wanting to go near them after two or three!
They say they relieve and sooth dry, tickly throats actively supporting throat health.
They boast being 90% honey (the lemon version is 80% honey) with honeydew and vitamin C.
It has an icon saying 12+ active which I assume is to do with the quality of the honey used (I rarely retain information like that) and says on the back "Each lozenge contains selected Manuka honeys high in ACTIVE AAH and powerfully supports immune defences in fighting ills and chills."
Each lozenge is 2.8g and contains Airborne Health Active AAH Manuka Honey and Beech Forest Honeydew Honey, maltodextrin, tableting aids E551 and E570 and added vitamin C.
These are Gluten Free.
Within a couple of minutes I could feel a drastic change in the dryness and pain in my throat.
An hour later I feel a little bit of a scratch again, but it's nowhere near as bad as it was.
Another thing I like about these is the shape and size. I have another brand of manuka honey lozenges that I like, but they're in the shape of small cushions if you like, and are often awkward in my mouth (probably partly because of my piercing...) and I find a lot of things like strepsils or soothers too wide or too bulky to fit on top of my tongue so they often get banished to the side of my cheek! These comfortably sit on the top of my tongue with no problems.
So far I am really impressed with these!
If you are looking for something that works and that isn't yucky menthol or fuzzy numbing or gross antiseptic, I'd say give these a go, you might be pleasantly suprised.
~^_^~
Tuesday, 12 March 2013
Product Review : Clinicians REM Sleep
I've had sleeping issues for a looooooong time -even as a baby my parents had a LOT of trouble getting me to sleep, and for whatever reason, things started to get worse in the sleep area from highschool onwards.
I've had some odd things happen like waking up in my wardrobe, being aware that I was sitting up in bed and talking to myself -but not being able to do anything, and once my mother found me asleep with my eyes open and thought something had happened to me haha I remember being very annoyed -I was asleep after all!
I have ups and downs with my sleep. I have patches that may last for days, weeks, or months where I won't be able to sleep at all during "normal" sleep hours. I might not be able to sleep till 8am the next day. Till 1pm the next day, I might not sleep for two days. For three days. I might then get say five hours sleep, and then not sleep for another two days. And then I also have patches where I will barely be able to stay awake -or sometimes I won't be able to stay awake at all, constantly falling asleep no matter what I'm doing.
Either patch is very annoying and not exactly convenient or ideal!
In the past I have tried several different presciption sleeping pills -the most recent one was zopiclone. I have heard from a lot of people that it works well for them, but I hated it.
None of the pills worked out well for me. Most worked for a couple of weeks then stopped working. All of them worked a little.. too well? A couple worked far more than called for.
All of them left me feeling groggy and grumpy the next day, a couple made me feel horrible and out of it 24/7. I have patches of time I barely remember because I was just in and out of sleep all day. One second I'd be sorta there, the next I'd be completely gone again.
I tried that cherry melatonin drink, and it was ok, but it didn't work for very long, and it left me feeling groggy.
The best thing I have tried was Bach's Rescue Remedy Sleep. You put a few drops on your tongue before you go to bed -easy! It worked the longest, and the best, giving me slightly easier sleep, and not feeling any adverse effects in the morning.
Unfortunately though, that started to not work too.
With my sleeping habits getting worse, I was getting pretty desperate to find something to help me.
And yes, I have done sleep exercises. I've tried all that I've been told to. And none of them work for me. Breathing exercises. Physical exercises. Mental exercises. Meditation. Get up and have a warm shower. Get up and have a drink. Get up and do something until you're sleepy again.
I have a very active mind and it's all well and good for a doctor to say "just clear your mind" but obviously they don't understand that for some of us it just does not happen.
I am often tired, but not sleepy. This is something that I have a hard time explaining to people -that you can be tired, exhausted even, but not sleepy. And that's the thing you need. You get sleepy before you sleep. But what if you don't? It's very hard to get to sleep without first being sleepy.
So along came ads for Clinicians REM Sleep. I didn't think much of it at first, thinking that it was a prescription pill, and I didn't really want to go there again! Once I learnt that it was "herbal" I decided to take a closer look at it.
The reviews I found were positive, so I decided to go and see if I could afford some.
At $36.50 I couldn't! You get about a month's supply depending on how much you use, and while it works out to about $1.20 a day, which isn't too bad, I don't exactly have the money to afford that kind of outlay!
I found it for about $30 on our country's local version of something like ebay, and made the note to save up so I could get some.
Over the last few weeks I've been getting back into what I call "my insomnia cycle".
One day I had crawled into bed feeling very unwell at somewhere around 5pm, and shortly after my flatmate came home from work, came in, and handed me a bottle of Clinicians REM Sleep.
He had been so concerned that he had gone and bought it for me. I told him he was naughty and that the website had it for cheaper haha but I was very grateful.
I haven't been taking it for particularly long but so far clinicians REM sleep seems to be doing an ok job!
I've been feeling sleepy a lot this week but I'm not sure if it's because of the supplement or just because I'm sick (maybe both?)
I've definitely found it a lot easier to get to sleep!
I have been nodding off within twenty minutes of getting into bed instead of being awake for hours, and while I still wake up throughout the night, I fall back asleep within 10 minutes!
I wake up still feeling a little sleepy/tired but not groggy like what you get with prescription sleeping pills -it's not too bad.
So for now I will definitely be sticking with this product!
If you have a lot of trouble sleeping and have either not had much success with prescription pills, or want to try a more "natural" remedy, I do suggest trying this product out, as well as trying out Rescue Remedy Sleep (not together though!).
With everything, please talk to your doctor or pharmacist before you take something like this though, as there are certain medications that can interact negatively with them, or your doctor may want to try something else first.
You cannot take Clinicians REM Sleep if you are taking antidepressants.
I hope this helps some of you out there to get some decent sleep!
~^_^~
I've had some odd things happen like waking up in my wardrobe, being aware that I was sitting up in bed and talking to myself -but not being able to do anything, and once my mother found me asleep with my eyes open and thought something had happened to me haha I remember being very annoyed -I was asleep after all!
I have ups and downs with my sleep. I have patches that may last for days, weeks, or months where I won't be able to sleep at all during "normal" sleep hours. I might not be able to sleep till 8am the next day. Till 1pm the next day, I might not sleep for two days. For three days. I might then get say five hours sleep, and then not sleep for another two days. And then I also have patches where I will barely be able to stay awake -or sometimes I won't be able to stay awake at all, constantly falling asleep no matter what I'm doing.
Either patch is very annoying and not exactly convenient or ideal!
In the past I have tried several different presciption sleeping pills -the most recent one was zopiclone. I have heard from a lot of people that it works well for them, but I hated it.
None of the pills worked out well for me. Most worked for a couple of weeks then stopped working. All of them worked a little.. too well? A couple worked far more than called for.
All of them left me feeling groggy and grumpy the next day, a couple made me feel horrible and out of it 24/7. I have patches of time I barely remember because I was just in and out of sleep all day. One second I'd be sorta there, the next I'd be completely gone again.
I tried that cherry melatonin drink, and it was ok, but it didn't work for very long, and it left me feeling groggy.
The best thing I have tried was Bach's Rescue Remedy Sleep. You put a few drops on your tongue before you go to bed -easy! It worked the longest, and the best, giving me slightly easier sleep, and not feeling any adverse effects in the morning.
Unfortunately though, that started to not work too.
With my sleeping habits getting worse, I was getting pretty desperate to find something to help me.
And yes, I have done sleep exercises. I've tried all that I've been told to. And none of them work for me. Breathing exercises. Physical exercises. Mental exercises. Meditation. Get up and have a warm shower. Get up and have a drink. Get up and do something until you're sleepy again.
I have a very active mind and it's all well and good for a doctor to say "just clear your mind" but obviously they don't understand that for some of us it just does not happen.
I am often tired, but not sleepy. This is something that I have a hard time explaining to people -that you can be tired, exhausted even, but not sleepy. And that's the thing you need. You get sleepy before you sleep. But what if you don't? It's very hard to get to sleep without first being sleepy.
So along came ads for Clinicians REM Sleep. I didn't think much of it at first, thinking that it was a prescription pill, and I didn't really want to go there again! Once I learnt that it was "herbal" I decided to take a closer look at it.
The reviews I found were positive, so I decided to go and see if I could afford some.
At $36.50 I couldn't! You get about a month's supply depending on how much you use, and while it works out to about $1.20 a day, which isn't too bad, I don't exactly have the money to afford that kind of outlay!
I found it for about $30 on our country's local version of something like ebay, and made the note to save up so I could get some.
Over the last few weeks I've been getting back into what I call "my insomnia cycle".
One day I had crawled into bed feeling very unwell at somewhere around 5pm, and shortly after my flatmate came home from work, came in, and handed me a bottle of Clinicians REM Sleep.
He had been so concerned that he had gone and bought it for me. I told him he was naughty and that the website had it for cheaper haha but I was very grateful.
I haven't been taking it for particularly long but so far clinicians REM sleep seems to be doing an ok job!
I've been feeling sleepy a lot this week but I'm not sure if it's because of the supplement or just because I'm sick (maybe both?)
I've definitely found it a lot easier to get to sleep!
I have been nodding off within twenty minutes of getting into bed instead of being awake for hours, and while I still wake up throughout the night, I fall back asleep within 10 minutes!
I wake up still feeling a little sleepy/tired but not groggy like what you get with prescription sleeping pills -it's not too bad.
So for now I will definitely be sticking with this product!
If you have a lot of trouble sleeping and have either not had much success with prescription pills, or want to try a more "natural" remedy, I do suggest trying this product out, as well as trying out Rescue Remedy Sleep (not together though!).
With everything, please talk to your doctor or pharmacist before you take something like this though, as there are certain medications that can interact negatively with them, or your doctor may want to try something else first.
You cannot take Clinicians REM Sleep if you are taking antidepressants.
I hope this helps some of you out there to get some decent sleep!
~^_^~
Sunday, 10 March 2013
Why Do You Devalue Yourself?
If you're a human, chances are you've dealt with some self image and self worth issues in your life.
We all go through it, and most of us will hide it from the people around us. Most of us will try to be certain people for other people instead of being ourselves because we feel we are worth more to these people how they want us to be, than if we were ourselves.
Now, for a long time I had a lot of trouble understanding why people were like this. Why they undervalued themselves so much that they were willing to put away who they were and be what someone else wanted them to be.
This was probably the reason I didn't feel particularly pressured by my peers in school, and why I still don't.
In highschool I thought there were girls that didn't like me for a certain reason, but I didn't care, it was just how it was. I later on found out something like they did like me but I was a bit "weird" and quiet and they didn't know how to approach me. I was suprised whenever a peer praised me in school, I didn't understand why they cared about me, and it wasn't important that they did. I was confused by it.
Though, it's a little more complicated than just that because things like doing well in school.. well it was something I had to do. It was expected of me. It wasn't an accomplishment. It was just like bathing or eating. It was part of my life. Bad things would happen if I achieved, worse things would happen if I didn't. Getting high marks didn't earn me praise from my family. One memory that will probably be etched forever was when I got the highest mark you can get on two different tests in one day in one class. I asked my teacher if I could take them home to show my parents, I thought this time I had two so close together, and my work was so good, even the teacher was really impressed, this time they will be happy. This time they will tell me they are proud of me. That I did a good job. Instead I was yelled at. Asked if I could get them like that, why couldn't I get them more often? I was brought up to believe that achieving in life was my responsibility. So I did not understand why this girl was telling me what I wrote was really good and she loved it, and that I should be a writer.
But once I realised that what I was trying to do with my relatives was what most people try to do with the people around them, I started to understand a little bit more.... but not fully.
I've had to train myself to accept compliments, and I am still a little awkward with it.
Everybody can do it, but you've got to stop superficially accepting them, and start to truly accept them.
I think the only time I've truly felt pressured to "fit in" was when I was about 16 I think and going to the school formal with my then boyfriend. I had seen my friends go to school dances, I had never really been interested in them before. But I had seen all the pretty dresses. I did a friend's makeup ..and hair? for a formal earlier that year I think it was.. while I had done her up for free, she had got a nice dress that was near $300!
I had never had a really pretty dress. Since my great grandfather died I hadn't had anybody that had wanted to buy me a really pretty dress.
Obviously I couldn't afford that much, and I wasn't really comfortable spending a lot of money on an over the top dress that I would probably only wear once! I ended up getting a dress from Pagani that was $45 -down from almost $200! And I did look really pretty in it. I looked like a princess. And I loved it. I didn't care that there were all these "popular girls" in garments that barely came to their knees and looked thin enough to be nightwear, I didn't care that some girls looked at me with that snobbish glance as I walked past. Calling me "your highness" sarcastically. Damn right, I was royalty that night!
There are many times that I wish I could just be "normal" -by that I mean that I wish my body and mind would do what they're apparently supposed to instead of taking the rule book and tearing it up. I often think this out of sheer exhaustion from having to deal with everything all the time. Those close to me have come to realise I have an extraordinary amount of weird or unfortunate crap going on at any given time. I don't know what kind of person I would be though if I were "normal" and if my life had been somewhat "normal" or "low key". I wonder if I would be somebody I would like? I wonder if I would care? haha
People seem to be suprised when they hear what I think of myself. They seem to be suprised that I'm so positive about myself -usually because they know a lot of what's gone on in my life, and I reckon it would be pretty understandable for someone to feel pretty crap about that sort of stuff.
People seem to be suprised when they learn that I think I'm beautiful, or that I think I'm better looking that a lot of people haha
Why though? Why can't I be happy with myself? Why can't I think I'm awesome and pretty?
What, just cause I'm a little (a lot) messed up, sick all the time, not a size ten... that means I can't like myself?
Why not? I don't understand. Is there some law I don't know about stating that I have to have bugger all self worth?
I'll tell you something for nothing (one day I will find out a way to charge you all for my wisdom... just kidding)
There are over 7 billion people on this earth now. And you know what? A big chunk of them are old enough to put you down and ignore your true worth.
Why the fuck are you doing it to yourself? Everybody else is going to do it for you. You don't need to. You can take a break.
On top of that, why do people try to make other people do it to themselves?
For someone who loathes most people on this pointless orb, I have a hell of a lot of patience for people. Some days I have close to zero. Some days I am that person in the supermarket who loudly and tiredly says "oh, that's ok, just stand in the way of everybody."
Most days I try so damn hard to be patient and understanding. Most days I end up wondering why I bothered!
There are too many people who think it's ok to criticise others with false statements but it's not ok for others to criticise them with facts.
Now, sometimes I can be a bit of a bitch. I know that, I'm not stupid, and you know what? I usually make sure to let people know early on. Can't say I didn't warn you!
If I am genuinely being a prize princess knobhead, and someone tells me I am, fine. Well they're not wrong are they?
However, when someone goes out of their way to make people think I did something when I didn't, that I'm something I'm not, that's when I get really pissed off.
What is your problem that you have to try and drag somebody down with lies? Do you feel pleased with yourself afterwards? Did you achieve what you had in mind?
I've seen so much of this go on. It started more in highschool, and it seems like the highschool social environment sticks around from then on.
Calling a virgin girl "frigid" and making crude comments towards her to do with sexual things. Telling her that you're going to get your guy friends to come show her a good time, that they'll "fix" her. Wtf is wrong with you? Why do you need to say things like that?
I stood up for the girl and got called frigid too. I didn't care, but I saw she did, and she even apologised to me for them having a go at me. Like it was her fault. It wasn't.
Calling someone a bitch and saying they spread rumours, or that they said blah about whatever person -you do this solely to get others to give them crap. You do it with the intent of bringing them down.
Why? Is that really going to make anything better?
I bet just reading this you've thought of several situations that were similar.
So if there are all those people out there that are keen to do it, and you don't like it when they do it, why is it ok for you to do it to yourself?
My life, my body, and my mind have never gone by the book.
Trying to be somebody you're really not for someone is tiring isn't it? Constantly trying to please my relatives emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted me. While I had largely stopped trying because I knew things weren't going to change, there was still a part of me that hoped that maybe one day they would change. That they would praise me for what I've achieved. Recognise all the things I've done.
Until recently.
There's a difference between knowing and thinking/feeling things.
I knew they would never change. But I thought that maybe one day they would.
I had to stop listening to my thoughts, putting a good or bad label on them, and I had to start listening to what I know, and reeling the thoughts in as just thoughts.
It's not something that will just change overnight. And it's not something that will be ...completely different either (in my experience anyway). I used to self harm. I used to be suicidal. Even now sometimes I do think so many things would be easier if I just weren't here, if I just didn't have to deal with them.
But you know what? Thinking that isn't a bad thing. It's not a bad thought. It's not a good thought. It's just a thought.
Now what about your thoughts? Do you think you're fat? Ugly? Stupid? Weird? That nobody will love you? That you're not good enough?
You probably *know* you're not any of those things deep down.
I, myself, am fat, and I'm actually ok with it. I am healthy though -by that I mean that I eat healthy food and my weight does not affect my health negatively- and that's good enough for me!
When I was a kid my father used to say to (yell things at) me like "don't you want to change to make people like you?! Don't the other kids at school bully you?! Don't they call you fat?!"
In fact, no, they didn't. I can only recall one time I was properly bullied when I was about eleven. Bullied at school that is. It was quite common for me to be bullied within my "family".
My father was the negative voice in my life. The voice trying to bring me down. Once I got him out of my life, I felt so much better.
He and his voice and attitude were very real. Your negative voice is real too -but in a different way.
Just because it's inside you instead of outside doesn't mean you can't get rid of it. Your negative voice came from somewhere. From something or someone. From who? From what? From where? And why?
Once you figure out those things it'll be much easier to deal with. You will have to focus more on what you know about it. That person -what did they ever do for you anyway really? Is it really good to keep this ideal?
And don't just say "I don't know". You're selling yourself short again. Really think about it. You may not realise at first. It may take some time to get to the bottom of it. But as long as you keep digging, you can find the answer, and over time you can subdue that negative voice living rent free in your head.
I think I'm awesome, and if you don't, that is not my problem. You're missing out on all the awesome that is me! Yeah, sometimes you have to put up with a bit of what the hell, but I reckon it's worth it!
You are beautiful, you are smart, you are "good enough", and there are people out there who love you!
Don't let anybody or yourself tell you otherwise!
~^_^~
We all go through it, and most of us will hide it from the people around us. Most of us will try to be certain people for other people instead of being ourselves because we feel we are worth more to these people how they want us to be, than if we were ourselves.
Now, for a long time I had a lot of trouble understanding why people were like this. Why they undervalued themselves so much that they were willing to put away who they were and be what someone else wanted them to be.
This was probably the reason I didn't feel particularly pressured by my peers in school, and why I still don't.
In highschool I thought there were girls that didn't like me for a certain reason, but I didn't care, it was just how it was. I later on found out something like they did like me but I was a bit "weird" and quiet and they didn't know how to approach me. I was suprised whenever a peer praised me in school, I didn't understand why they cared about me, and it wasn't important that they did. I was confused by it.
Though, it's a little more complicated than just that because things like doing well in school.. well it was something I had to do. It was expected of me. It wasn't an accomplishment. It was just like bathing or eating. It was part of my life. Bad things would happen if I achieved, worse things would happen if I didn't. Getting high marks didn't earn me praise from my family. One memory that will probably be etched forever was when I got the highest mark you can get on two different tests in one day in one class. I asked my teacher if I could take them home to show my parents, I thought this time I had two so close together, and my work was so good, even the teacher was really impressed, this time they will be happy. This time they will tell me they are proud of me. That I did a good job. Instead I was yelled at. Asked if I could get them like that, why couldn't I get them more often? I was brought up to believe that achieving in life was my responsibility. So I did not understand why this girl was telling me what I wrote was really good and she loved it, and that I should be a writer.
But once I realised that what I was trying to do with my relatives was what most people try to do with the people around them, I started to understand a little bit more.... but not fully.
I've had to train myself to accept compliments, and I am still a little awkward with it.
Everybody can do it, but you've got to stop superficially accepting them, and start to truly accept them.
I think the only time I've truly felt pressured to "fit in" was when I was about 16 I think and going to the school formal with my then boyfriend. I had seen my friends go to school dances, I had never really been interested in them before. But I had seen all the pretty dresses. I did a friend's makeup ..and hair? for a formal earlier that year I think it was.. while I had done her up for free, she had got a nice dress that was near $300!
I had never had a really pretty dress. Since my great grandfather died I hadn't had anybody that had wanted to buy me a really pretty dress.
Obviously I couldn't afford that much, and I wasn't really comfortable spending a lot of money on an over the top dress that I would probably only wear once! I ended up getting a dress from Pagani that was $45 -down from almost $200! And I did look really pretty in it. I looked like a princess. And I loved it. I didn't care that there were all these "popular girls" in garments that barely came to their knees and looked thin enough to be nightwear, I didn't care that some girls looked at me with that snobbish glance as I walked past. Calling me "your highness" sarcastically. Damn right, I was royalty that night!
There are many times that I wish I could just be "normal" -by that I mean that I wish my body and mind would do what they're apparently supposed to instead of taking the rule book and tearing it up. I often think this out of sheer exhaustion from having to deal with everything all the time. Those close to me have come to realise I have an extraordinary amount of weird or unfortunate crap going on at any given time. I don't know what kind of person I would be though if I were "normal" and if my life had been somewhat "normal" or "low key". I wonder if I would be somebody I would like? I wonder if I would care? haha
People seem to be suprised when they hear what I think of myself. They seem to be suprised that I'm so positive about myself -usually because they know a lot of what's gone on in my life, and I reckon it would be pretty understandable for someone to feel pretty crap about that sort of stuff.
People seem to be suprised when they learn that I think I'm beautiful, or that I think I'm better looking that a lot of people haha
Why though? Why can't I be happy with myself? Why can't I think I'm awesome and pretty?
What, just cause I'm a little (a lot) messed up, sick all the time, not a size ten... that means I can't like myself?
Why not? I don't understand. Is there some law I don't know about stating that I have to have bugger all self worth?
I'll tell you something for nothing (one day I will find out a way to charge you all for my wisdom... just kidding)
There are over 7 billion people on this earth now. And you know what? A big chunk of them are old enough to put you down and ignore your true worth.
Why the fuck are you doing it to yourself? Everybody else is going to do it for you. You don't need to. You can take a break.
On top of that, why do people try to make other people do it to themselves?
For someone who loathes most people on this pointless orb, I have a hell of a lot of patience for people. Some days I have close to zero. Some days I am that person in the supermarket who loudly and tiredly says "oh, that's ok, just stand in the way of everybody."
Most days I try so damn hard to be patient and understanding. Most days I end up wondering why I bothered!
There are too many people who think it's ok to criticise others with false statements but it's not ok for others to criticise them with facts.
Now, sometimes I can be a bit of a bitch. I know that, I'm not stupid, and you know what? I usually make sure to let people know early on. Can't say I didn't warn you!
If I am genuinely being a prize princess knobhead, and someone tells me I am, fine. Well they're not wrong are they?
However, when someone goes out of their way to make people think I did something when I didn't, that I'm something I'm not, that's when I get really pissed off.
What is your problem that you have to try and drag somebody down with lies? Do you feel pleased with yourself afterwards? Did you achieve what you had in mind?
I've seen so much of this go on. It started more in highschool, and it seems like the highschool social environment sticks around from then on.
Calling a virgin girl "frigid" and making crude comments towards her to do with sexual things. Telling her that you're going to get your guy friends to come show her a good time, that they'll "fix" her. Wtf is wrong with you? Why do you need to say things like that?
I stood up for the girl and got called frigid too. I didn't care, but I saw she did, and she even apologised to me for them having a go at me. Like it was her fault. It wasn't.
Calling someone a bitch and saying they spread rumours, or that they said blah about whatever person -you do this solely to get others to give them crap. You do it with the intent of bringing them down.
Why? Is that really going to make anything better?
I bet just reading this you've thought of several situations that were similar.
So if there are all those people out there that are keen to do it, and you don't like it when they do it, why is it ok for you to do it to yourself?
My life, my body, and my mind have never gone by the book.
Trying to be somebody you're really not for someone is tiring isn't it? Constantly trying to please my relatives emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted me. While I had largely stopped trying because I knew things weren't going to change, there was still a part of me that hoped that maybe one day they would change. That they would praise me for what I've achieved. Recognise all the things I've done.
Until recently.
There's a difference between knowing and thinking/feeling things.
I knew they would never change. But I thought that maybe one day they would.
I had to stop listening to my thoughts, putting a good or bad label on them, and I had to start listening to what I know, and reeling the thoughts in as just thoughts.
It's not something that will just change overnight. And it's not something that will be ...completely different either (in my experience anyway). I used to self harm. I used to be suicidal. Even now sometimes I do think so many things would be easier if I just weren't here, if I just didn't have to deal with them.
But you know what? Thinking that isn't a bad thing. It's not a bad thought. It's not a good thought. It's just a thought.
Now what about your thoughts? Do you think you're fat? Ugly? Stupid? Weird? That nobody will love you? That you're not good enough?
You probably *know* you're not any of those things deep down.
I, myself, am fat, and I'm actually ok with it. I am healthy though -by that I mean that I eat healthy food and my weight does not affect my health negatively- and that's good enough for me!
When I was a kid my father used to say to (yell things at) me like "don't you want to change to make people like you?! Don't the other kids at school bully you?! Don't they call you fat?!"
In fact, no, they didn't. I can only recall one time I was properly bullied when I was about eleven. Bullied at school that is. It was quite common for me to be bullied within my "family".
My father was the negative voice in my life. The voice trying to bring me down. Once I got him out of my life, I felt so much better.
He and his voice and attitude were very real. Your negative voice is real too -but in a different way.
Just because it's inside you instead of outside doesn't mean you can't get rid of it. Your negative voice came from somewhere. From something or someone. From who? From what? From where? And why?
Once you figure out those things it'll be much easier to deal with. You will have to focus more on what you know about it. That person -what did they ever do for you anyway really? Is it really good to keep this ideal?
And don't just say "I don't know". You're selling yourself short again. Really think about it. You may not realise at first. It may take some time to get to the bottom of it. But as long as you keep digging, you can find the answer, and over time you can subdue that negative voice living rent free in your head.
I think I'm awesome, and if you don't, that is not my problem. You're missing out on all the awesome that is me! Yeah, sometimes you have to put up with a bit of what the hell, but I reckon it's worth it!
You are beautiful, you are smart, you are "good enough", and there are people out there who love you!
Don't let anybody or yourself tell you otherwise!
~^_^~
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